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Henny Youngman
Quotes:
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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